LOADED April 2004
Plaster The Walls
Home decoration is, truth be told, a steaming pile of sickly shit.
People decorate because they are weak fools: they know kow-tow
to pressure. They keep up with the idiot Joneses. They fall for
the filthy disease that is ‘home interior’ magazines
and DIY telly programmes. In short, they decorate their homes because
deep down inside they think someone will think less of them if
they don’t. Fuck that shit. Kick back. Leave the walls and
woodwork alone. Home decoration should be simple: cover old stuff
up with new stuff which requires no effort but satisfies you ever-changing
visual cravings. Use books. Use paintings. Above all, use posters.
They are cheap to buy, you can hang them in seconds, and you can
change them willy nilly with neither a hither or thither. If you
are scared of being called a student tosser stick the fucking things
in frames. You can keep the frames when you change the posters.
Just get on it and stop being a yee. Do the dog, not the donkey.
This minute, if you want to be on the ball, use sex posters from
the ages. They look smart without trying. And they shit on any
paint job or new curtain arrangement.